The Mailbag


Content this week is a little low... seems not too many people took the time to send me an opinion, and most still think I take technical questions (RTF Guildines, people!). So, in an effort to generate a bit more feedback, I'm starting something new: The question of the week! This will be something which has already caused some controversy in the Quake Community, and hopefully will make the next mailbag a bit more juicy.

Question of the Week:
Recently, id software released the source code for 3.14, and bundled with it was a lengthy and controversial document called the License Agreement. Many people feel it is FAR too restrictive, and some people feel it is required to protect the rights of a mod author.
What is your opinion of the Licence Agreement? Send replies to

Remember, if you get tempted to send me a question or problem, DON'T! Check The Unofficial Quake II FAQ which is written and maintained by Richard. He's worked very hard on it so people like me don't have to answer dumb questions. What's that you say? Your question isn't in the FAQ? Well, try the messageboard! There's a link in the frame. Lots of people will read your problem and try and answer it. Another good resource is the Gamer's Guide, which can be found on Blue's.


P.S. Before submitting anything, read the guidelines.

March 8th, 1998
Last Issue: March 1st, 1998

reply to 'helluva good question'
submitted by bEElzrbUb
HEHE... ok ok, I've ranted enough I think. I pledge never to speak another word of this to anyone at not even Blitz. In fact, I apologize to both of you, to you for bogging down your mailbox with dismal complaints... and Blitz for just being kind of a dick to him. And don't worry, I'll most definitely continue to bash on the countless numbers of intellectually challenged blokes that fill the mailbag with their crap. IT'S JUST TOO MUCH FUN!

Thanks... you've been quite a good sport about all of this, and I hope we can put it behind us.

submitted by bEElzrbUb
Here it is from the top...... I bought QII, loaded the full install, fired it up, fell in love. I have a p166mmx with 64mb ram, Intergraph intense 3D voodoo rush graphics, AWE64, and all the other expensive feces one needs to experience orgasmic game play. I tried the game in software and 3dfx openGL video modes and the difference in the graphics were akin to the buzz you get from a glass of milk and stiff shot of tequila. BUT.......the game is as dark as being lodged about 10 feet up a mules ass. I have browsed and browsed and browsed. My butt has gone way past asleep, it is now in an irreversible coma, and all i have accomplished amounts to pissing in the wind. I am sure i will work out all the problems with a little perseverence and a piss bucket next to my computer, but when i came across your moan, bitch and gripe page, i had to stop and throw a tantrum.
P.S.......For god's sake, don't offer any advice, lest i be struck by lightning !!!! also.......It seems to me that if you take away all the questions, the page is non existant!!
OH GOD. Feces and orgasmic in the same sentence? Look pal, we don't need to be bothered with your feculent thoughts ok?

Moving on... dark??? You spent hours pissing in a bucket at the side of your computer (?) because Quake2 is DARK??? I'm lost. Please explain this to me. I would go off in a bigass rant if I actually knew what the hell you meant by that. If it's too dark, make it brighter. It's not rocket science.

Finally... you say that would be non-existent without questions? Wha? This site is a news page, not a tech-support page, smartass. This mailbag is here so you can express your opinions about Quake2 (or the gaming industry in general), and also for people like me to bash on people like you. Nothing more.

Well, I really didn't know what to make of his mail last week... I think he meant that he couldn't figure out how to adjust the brightness (or intensity, or gamma, or whatever was bugging him) and he was sitting at his computer for hours upon hours trying to dig up the console command, and couldn't find it... which is a bit odd since I went looking and found a complete list of commands in five minutes <G>. Oh well...

Two Gripes
submitted by "Lobotomy Pie"
I got a real problem with lame asses that come into a server with tit milk, pocket protector names like "Bob" or "Killer" or "BadGuy". Fer chrissakes, take some pride in yourselves and get an imaginative name. I mean, what fun is it to kill a guy named "ToddMan" (real name I've seen btw) unless it's with a hand grenade which he so deserved. All I'm sayin' is to take 3 minutes out of your day and come up with a name that's good. Also, while I'm on this note, I wish people would keep their same names for a while so you can remember who you have to pay back, y'know?

My other gripe is all the wonderchumps that camp. NOW BEFORE ANYONE GETS PISSED ABOUT THE CAMPING REFERENCE, camping to me = standing by regeneration points and pluggin' guys to pad the gib stats. This is the lowest form of cheating and should be punishable by making a stand over a hole and shooting his crotch through his head with a super shotgun.

Just a couple of thoughts after a weekend of hearty meat grinding in Q2 by the man they call,

"Lobotomy Pie"
High when my ping is low,
Low when my ping is high.

You want a really dumb name? I once came across this guy named "Lobotomy Pie". Heh! Boy, how dumb can ya get! ...I really don't see what matters about the originality of a name, just accept that some people think their name might be cool, but it's actually cheesy to everyone else (case in point: "Lobotomy Pie"... heh heh heh).

Just a rant...
submitted by Peter S Borromeo
I know it's not a question, but.... QII sucks. I've been playing these games since Doom I, and loved Quake I. But ya know, this QII has so many friggin bugs, I can't believe they released it! The best games I've played are Dark Forces, Jedi and Mysteries of the Sith. There's so much more going on in these games. Much more to do..... I've got a 166 Pentium, 80 MB RAM, matrox Millenium 2D card, Matrox M3D 3D video card with 4 MB RAM and still this game plays choppy! What do I hafta do to make this game play smoothly? Run it on a friggin SGI with two co-processors? MOTS plays wonderfully on my machine. Oh sure, the graphics levels probably don't compare, but why buy a game just cause it has all this neat code for 3D but it doesn't play well on 90% of the machines out there? And how in hell do you even attempt to play this hog over a modem? I think id has sold you chip heads a bill of goods about this game. I've played it through and download add-on levels, but hit a big room with lots of bad guys and the frame rate drops to nothing. And don't give any crap about buying somebody else's 3D card to make it run. What's the point of building a game for a designated card? Getting kickbacks?

I think the problem is more on your machine then 90% of everyone else's... most of the people I know say they can run QuakeII well enough (most people I know have a 3dfx card), but that's not really the point. If you aren't satisfied with QuakeII's performance on your machine, then that's fine. You have three options: live with it, don't play it, or upgrade. I don't care if you don't want any crap, because here it comes: get a 3dfx Voodoo or VoodooII card if you want to get the best performance. There is a reason the game is 'built for it': it is the best! Simply the best! Your Matrox can't match up to it. No way.

Previous Bag comments plus a few other rants...
submitted by Richard Connery
Hello Paubo and everyone else reading this,

Firstly I'd like to say O//Fix\\o brings up an important matter. PGL is US + Canada only. Us europeans should start our own league. The problem is Europe has (as I trust you _all_ know) many countries so we'd probably need several playoffs in each of the countries before going into the actual European competition. Then, and only then, our four best players could play against PGL's four champions.

And Mugwum, I find it hard to believe you are "...incredibly technically apt..." while you " into them a couple of years ago...". Hell, that was when I last upgraded my computer. But perhaps you're just incredibly clever. Still, newbies will always exist and they are a part of everything, not just the computer world. Another thing you mention is that Windows 95 is a "...nightmare for a newbie..." I would like to see them (you?) handling DOS or better still, Linux. One thing it trully pisses me off (kind of) is ppl calling themselves "...incredibly technically apt..." when they obviously know sqwat about what their talking about. I've been working with computers for _eleven_ years now, got it? <g> Still, I don't think I know it all, not in the least. There is a lot of ppl out there that know so much more than I do it's scary.

Morisato Strife: having problems with hosts? Then leave! For crying out loud, when the time comes where you'll be forced to play on any given server will be when ppl mass suicide because servers pick on you. You say he's a wimp, you're probably right but you're no less of a wuss for not being able to kick his ass with any weapon you find.

Zondaro: WTF? Chat while DMing? It's okay to tease and sometimes _few_ lines about something _really_ important but if you want to chat there's IRC and ICQ amongst others. DM stands for DEATH MATCH, you know?

Paul Officer, you speak wisely when you say Quake II's patch policy is wrecked but then you go and give the Doom example to show how a game should be released? WTF? Oh I get it, you prolly just ordered Doom now or bought Doom II. Doom started on v0.99 and it now ended on v1.9 with a separate patch to take it to Ultimate Doom (Over nine patches). Doom II (which is basically the same engine) has had four patches itself. <sigh> Get your facts straight, or at least half-straight. About bEElzebUb, after I left the Bag I received a mail from him and Paubo asking to continue the Bag. Since I had alread left, I forwarded the two mails to Blitz and he made the decision. Just wanted to make that clear. Richard "Sat" Connery, the Artist Formelly Known as Satanic

Welcome Back! I guess I still have a ways to go... obviously you still are the king of sarcastic responses :). Oh well, I'm learning... did you see the way I handled that "Lobotomy Pie" bit back there? Wasn't that great? :)

Strange Int It
submitted by Shagga

Just thought I would mention it, but I was very surprised to see more ppl queuing outside Woolworth's with the release of 'The Full Monty' video than there was outside EB when Q2 was released. Incidentally, my girlfriend also joined the queue and we both sat and watched it tonight. What a load of crap!!!.

Although I do try to do my bit for the British Film Industry, half way through the film I felt the uncontrollable urge to drag myself away form the television (actually, to slip away discretely I pretended to go to the toilet) get online and kick some serious ass in a Q2 deathmatch. She was not amused. I just feel sorry for all those ppl who have not yet heard of the Quake series and live in hope of a more fulfilled life and think they hope to find it in a total flop of a film.

Argh well, how lucky us game players are. (That is if you can put up with your girlfriend in a seamlessly never ending mood from hell) :o)

You know, there is such a thing as being "too involved" in this whole Quake thing. I mean, getting an urge to play QuakeII strong enough to make you leave your date right in the middle of a movie? Come on, man... :)

submitted by herman munster
in response to your reply to someone's message: "You think we need to put up the cracks? Do you think we are going to actually HELP people illegaly get QuakeII? Man, shut up. id software deserves to be paid for the game they made. "

I tend to disagree, id software and activision were motivated by christmas commercialization and corporate greed to release a game that was not yet ready for release THEY DO NOT DESERVE TO BE PAID FOR IT!!! activision deserves to go bankrupt because warezers are releaseing their games for free. I've seen some kind of statistics on the spa's (or whatever) page about how software piracy costs the software industry like millions per year. How much does poor releases cost consumers in lost productivity, aggrevation, and phone calls to technical support guys who can tell you little more than how to click your start button. I say release no software until it is ready. Quit screwing the consumer. until then, Long Live The Warez and DEATH TO ACTIVISION

Let me get this straight... you think QuakeII was rushed and incomplete (a valid arguement), and therefore you shouldn't have to pay for it? Well, tell me this: how could you know if it is rushed and incomplete if you hadn't already bought (or d/led) it? This means you passed a judgement that id/Activision doesn't deserve your money AFTER you already stole your copy! Warez may claim to be the people's revolution against large bureaucratic companies who pinch pennies and come up with new ways to cheat the consumer out of money, but its not. Warez is an easy way for people to illegaly obtain software. Nothing more than that.

Damn Crouchers
submitted by phatbowl
I would like to know what the deal with crouchers is... All these folks tend to run (more of a crawl) around on there knees. What exactly is the point of this? These people do not stand a chance against players using the SpaceTec SpaceOrb. One quick spin move and there toast, instant frags for me. I guess they are better than campers though.

I find crouching to be very cumborsome in combat: you may be smaller, but you can hardly move, and you're also more vulnerable to rocket splash damage. People who crouch are generally newbies... I have found experienced players to only use crouching if they're sniping, hiding, or moving through a tight space. BTW, I don't know what having a SpaceOrb would have to do with anything... they're just as easy to kill with a mouse.

submitted by Smokedogg
I have finally gotten the Riva 128 OpenGL drivers to work. Holy crap what a difference!!!!!!! Before I had seen shots and thought " Whoopy". Man was I a big nimrod. Please make sure that everyone needs to get OpenGL drivers for there board. You'll love it.
I would also like to preach the quality of this site. It is one of the best around with updates all the time, mods, .plans, links, and all the rest. You might already have one, but I think a newsletter would be a great addition from this glorious site.
Brett Carter

Yeah, most people experiencing GLQuakeII equate it with a religious experience of some sort. There really is no way to describe it unless you see a video or demo... Regarding a newsletter, no, we don't have one, and I don't think there are any plans to do anything like that in the near future... I'm not sure why not, exactly...

Cheats in Multiplayer
submitted by Large Sock
First, even though this probably just annoys you since you've seen it so much and it's irrelevant to the subject matter, great site! I love's the best site about Quake II I've found on the net...ok, now on to the substance of the email...

I find it strange that servers with cheats disabled disallow the obvious cheats (god, give all, etc.), as well as some less obvious cheats (r_fullbright, cl_testlights, etc.). However, the console command "gl_saturatelighting" still works and it's nearly as bright as "r_fullbright"...I find this extremely odd and unbalancing to gameplay...I, for one, hate multiplayer cheaters.

I would have just mailed this to an id Software programmer, but for the life of me, I couldn't figure out how to do it...I searched over their site for at least 10 minutes searching for an email link, but all I found was tech support. I don't know how good you have it in with the guys at id, but I figure they might listen to you.

Thanks for your time.

What? id people listening to me? Heheheh... I'm about as important as you in their eyes... which means you may as well mail them yourself. Try Christian Antkow or John Cash.

"We're not id software!" isn't funny any more...
submitted by Rob Warden
I was wondering why you keep posting letters about specific id Software questions with the same reply, "We're not id Software!" Yeah, I know you have no control over the amount being sent to you, but you do have control about posting them. Now, to me, this is getting old. It's just not as funny as the first 2 or 3 times it was done. Do you use it as a space-taker? The idiot questions are nice for a while, for a good laugh, but I think you need to cut down on them some. At the rate it's going, the mailbag will now just be all id Software related questions.

I like the mailbag layout, but maybe you could arrange it into some order like over at PlanetQuake's, one section for a specific subject and then finally a weird section for the majority of the mail you get.


You may have noticed a definite lack of idiot questions showing up since I took over. Let the world take note, I enforce the guidlines! Mwhahahahah!
And I was going to change the format of the mailbag, too... pretty much exactly how you're describing it, by subject. However, right now, pretty much all of the mails would end up in the misc section... next week hopefully people will respond to the Question of The Week, and then I'll have at least two categories :).

You guys should put up a large "skin" pack and link it on news :)
submitted by Kal
The problem is anywhere you go, skins are only available one by one, so people dont download them, unless they want to wear it. I think new skins are waaaayyy cool, but they need a bit of "centralization" to reach most Quake II gamers...

And it would be a good idea to also send that to most multiplayers would have these skins.


Yeah, something like that is a good idea... but I don't know if its feasible, due to the amazingly large amount of skins out there. Most of the skin sites out there already have large skin packs that are several Mb large already. Something I, and most other people, would like to see is the server download option, where skins are automatically downloaded when you connect to a game... but that's gone to save bandwidth, so the user's only option is to download many a skinpack if they want to keep current.

Humor (and a question)
submitted by Kevin Lin
I have a question for you guys, but first some Q2 CTF humor. If you've played much CTF, you probably have at one point found yourself in an unbalanced game. So for your amusement...

* * *

You know the CTF teams are unbalanced when:

The opposition is so well organized, when they're underwater they actually do synchronized swimming.
Your team when entering water does asynchronous drowning.

The opposition sniper only fires his railgun when he can get multiple targets, to "conserve ammo".
Your sniper has actually railgunned himself.

The opponents' key bindings were personally coded by Carmack.
Your key bindings were written by Wile E. Coyote, "Super Genius".

The enemy flag carrier is permanently illuminated by the warm glow of your flag.
Your flag carrier probably would not recognize the enemy flag.

"Thresh" is the weak link on the enemy team.
Your weak link is a crazy Dark Forces fan who refuses to plug in his monitor, choosing instead to rely on "the Force."

The opposition sniper somehow has a negative ping.
Your sniper's ping is so high it's written in scientific notation.

The enemy flag carrier's connection is a one-hop ether link.
Your flag carrier's connection is being relayed by the Mars Pathfinder.

The enemy scout can get 100 frames per second on his custom built system.
Your scout is still seeing frames from the last game.

The enemy captain's connection is so fast he knows what you're doing before you do.
Your captain is playing by mail.

* * *

Okay, now for the question; I run a web site, The Grey Labyrinth (URL below), which features puzzles, riddles, mindbenders, etc. We have been considering trying to sell Ad Banner space to offset some of our server costs, and one of the options we have considered is BurstMedia. We noticed that the BurstMedia adcode is in your source.

So the question is, how have you found your dealings with BurstMedia? Have they sold any ad space for you? Do you have any caveats, warnings, etc. in dealing with them? How successful has your non-Burst advertising been?

Thanks in advance, keep up the good work!

Heheheh... anyone who's ever played CTF is probably laughing right now... did you come up with that yourself? It's pretty good! ...I have relayed your question to Blitz and Nigel, one of them will probably get back to you (but in the future, don't send questions here).

And so ends my latest mailbag. If I didn't post your mail, then you didn't read the guidelines! Remember, technical questions will go straight to my trash can. I will try to post submissions which contain ONLY VALID OPINIONS. Read on for the guidlines...


The Mailbag deals with opinions, not specific questions. Also, I don't reply directly so you'll need to check The Bag each week. If I happen to grin at your submission you are free to send another. Use it to show I was wrong; if you don't send other logic arguments or facts I will grin a lot harder. Send them to


1998 Paul "Paubo" Teehan & All rights reserved.